Day 270 # - What went wrong

Sometimes I blame myself for everything.
For always wanting to be different, open minded and a little bit crazy.
Don't get me wrong, those are all good qualities that actually attract me to people.
But sometimes I wish I wasn't like that. It's not a good thing to be "different".
You know how many times I heard from people (especially boys) - "You're different from every other girl". Yeah, thanks, that's cool. So why am I always the one who is lonely and forgotten? Is it because i'm too complex, deep or damaged?
Maybe it's because I read Anna Karenina when I was 15, instead of being worried about boys and other superficial problems. At that age I was almost an activist, always trying to protect my classmates and discussing controversial issues with my teachers.
I believed one day I was going to change the world. And I think people believed in that too.

But I didn't.

I did nothing with my life, and everything kind of went wrong. But well, I guess that's what happens when you're in your 20's right?
Lately I really miss being 16, I kind of want to go back. Back to wearing my oversized jim morrison t-shirt and combat boots. Back to being passionate about everything, out-going and extroverted.

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